Using Letters to Support Children Through Change

Change can feel big to children — even when it looks small to us.

A new sibling.

Starting school.

Moving house.

A change in routine.

Growing older.

Children often sense these shifts before they can explain them. Feelings surface in behaviour, silence, questions, or clinginess — and parents are left wondering how best to support them.

Sometimes, the gentlest support comes not from conversation alone, but from something quieter.

A letter.

Why change feels different for children

Children experience the world emotionally first.

Even positive changes can feel unsettling because they:

• disrupt familiarity
• introduce uncertainty
• shift a child’s sense of their place in the world

While adults can explain why change is happening, children often need reassurance about something deeper:

Am I still safe? Am I still seen? Do I still matter?

How letters help when words feel hard:
A letter creates space. Unlike a conversation — which can feel overwhelming or rushed — a letter allows a child to:

• return to the words in their own time
• absorb reassurance slowly
• revisit the message whenever they need comfort

Letters don’t require an immediate response. They simply wait, ready when the child is.

This makes them especially powerful during times of transition. 

When letters can support children most

Letters can gently support children through:

• welcoming a new sibling
• starting daycare, kindergarten, or school
• moving homes or rooms
• changing routines or caregivers
• growing independence
• emotional milestones

The letter becomes a steady voice during an unsteady time.

What to include in a transition letter:

A supportive letter doesn’t need to solve everything.
Often, it’s enough to:

• acknowledge the change
• name feelings without judgement
• offer reassurance of love and belonging
• remind the child of their strengths
• keep the tone calm and steady

The goal isn’t to remove discomfort — it’s to let the child know they’re not alone inside it.

Why letters become anchors:

During change, children look for things that stay the same. A letter can become an anchor — something familiar, tangible, and safe.

Many children will:

• reread the same letter repeatedly
• keep it close during difficult moments
• return to it long after the change has passed

Over time, these letters become evidence:

“I was supported through this.”

Letting children lead the pace:

Every child processes change differently.

• Some will want to talk.
  
• Some will want space.
• Some will want stories.

Some will simply want reassurance — quietly. Letters honour all of these needs without pressure.

• They don’t demand understanding.
• They don’t rush acceptance.
• They simply offer presence.

Change doesn’t need to be loud:

Support doesn’t always come from big gestures or perfect explanations. 
Sometimes it comes from something small, intentional, and thoughtfully given.

A letter says:

• I see this is hard.
• I believe in you.
• I’m here — even when things feel different.
• At Enchanted Ink & Play, we believe letters are especially powerful during life’s in-between moments — when children are growing, shifting, and finding their way.

Because change is part of childhood.
And no child should walk through it without feeling held.